Choices

I remember a while back there was a news report on how there is now too much choice for the consumer. I believe this is true. I mean, just yesterday I was in my local supermarket and we were in the jelly section. There, in brightly coloured, shiney packaging was a "new jelly" called "create your own flavour". Awesome right?! Yes! BUT THEN, remember this: jelly with no flavour is JUST GELLITINE, which is probably cheaper than this new wonder jelly, that you can flavour yourself.

The Romance Industry

I am a sucker. Let it be universally acknowledged. There was not a jingle i didn't know when i was a child. I knew ads off by heart and i wanted EVERYTHING ever seen in any commercial. So, you can see how romance would be a big sticky web that I, a trusting, young fly, would settle to rest its eyes for the night, only to awake in the morning to see something rather horrible going on in the morning.

Now, Hollywood (being the bastards that they are) shone the love becon and like a moth to the light I became mesmerised. I watched every type of romance out there; from My Girl to Pride and Prejudice. I read romance books for preteens like "I love you, Jason Deleny." I had the odd celebrity crush and I dreamt of one day of finding the perfect catch.

Now, like any advertised product, when you spend a bit of time with it after the purchase, you find that it was not all it was cracked up to be. I mean sure, it might be adaquate, good even. But it's NEVER as good as they tell you it will be. That, and if it's something you've really been looking forward to, not only does it disappoint, but often something will go so wrong with it that it is now spoiled forever.

Such is love. The crushes i had on boys when i was 13 and 14 were heartbreaking. I loved one boy so much that i tried to facebook stalk him the other day (not that i still love him) but he didnt have facebook. Drat! I was rejected time and time again and it never got easier.

When eventually I DID find someone whom i loved, and still love dearly, it still didn't work out. This was possibly the most horrible. I mean, if you're rejected then there is no possiblity of a fairytale ending. If you've been set up to think that this is real love and it should last forever, its devestating when things do turn sour.

Don't get me wrong i'm fully aware that love is not everlasting in all cases. I come from a line of divorcees. Even so. Hollywood should not set young people up with high expectations. As Angus and Julia Stone so aptly put it "i blame you Hollywood/for showing me things you never should/show a young girl/coz life's not a happy ending/sure there's some/like johnny and june/and maybe other people too. etc"

I get that Hollywood does not depict reality in many cases BUT in a way it forms a reality. It says these are real people like you and me living in real places (New York, Chicago, LA) etc and this is what's happening to them. Then, because there are SO many people like this, so many movies about the same thing, it just seems that this is a regular thing and it happpens. Even when Hollywood tries to inject some ACTUAL reality into their movies such as "The Breakup" starring Jennifer Annisten and that other dude, the acting is so poor that you don't believe a minute of it. Even in "Suddenly 30" you BELIEVE that she has actually had magic dust send her rocketing into her own, messy future. The disney princesses are even worse. They are SOOOO young. Ariel is 16! This means that little girls grow up all their lives and expect to marry the man of their dreams an 16!!!!!!! (this is not always true and i do love the disney princesses)

If Hollywood wasn't trying to sell you love all the time, they might actually show you some wonderful but heartbreaking, also probably more insightful movies on love. If they weren't such money guzzlers they wouldn't be breaking hearts across the globe daily.

This entire rant is the product of someone dissattisfied with an item they purchsed on the premise that it was a good addition the collection.

I say this to you now, Hollywood:
Fuck you. You lied to me.

Thank You

This post is mostly a response to the elusive "Mr. B's" most recent blog post "The Real Message in Romeo and Juliet".

Frankly, I found this article very insightful! I mean, I don't think that Mr. Shakespeare was aiming to point out the sexual frustration and hotheadedness of youths as much as he was aiming at pointing out the flaws of the society etc. but anyhow.

One message, though, in Mr. B's post was spot on, i think. The idea of love at first sight is a massive myth. All people want to fuck. This is a fact of life. Even nuns want to fuck. It's only natural. And when a person finds a person "fuckable" and they determine if said person thinks the same about them, the hormones can't be stopped.

At this point i would like to acknowledge that people pick partners, subconsicously by smell and also by sight so i guess finding your partner "fuckable" is necessary.

McCrap for rillah y'all.

My first attempt at a rap. its pretty shit but i said id let ya know!

I cry myself to sleep nightly
Wrapped in my covers tightly
Turned of the light lightly
Trying so hard to appear spritely,
Knightly or both,
But I know I’m
Too light headed
To know even vaguely
Where I might be headed
And I wanna stay permanently bedded
Being beheaded
And breaded
Look up through the straw
A needle in the hay
Then I wake to face the
Fucking dreaded day

Mother Goose

Mother Goose is the Queen of Rhymes and I was considering that being my Rappers Name... What do you think?

Also i thought i'd try and come up with as many rhymes for blog as i can.
So here goes.
BLOG
Frog
Clog
Dog
Hog
Grog
Flog
Analog
Cog
Prologue
Epilogue
Fog
Wog
Bog
Eggnog
Gollywog
Slog
Snog
Pedagog..

You Smell

Everyone has an indiviual scent.
I love it when my boyfriend smells like he did the first day i went to his house
Ariel smells like perfume and cigs
Weed smells like Woodford
Cogsworth smells like stir fried cabbage (which i like the smell of!)
Giselle smells like peach
Maid Marion smells like herbal essences
Tarzan smells like Pantene
Lucky smells like Nag Champa
I smell like chicken and bleach
And my perfume smells like the night Angus Lyndal and I had our own christmas!

I realise this is a personal blog so ive gone back and changes names. See if you can guess who is who. The first letter of each person's name matches the name of the respective Disney character. NB. Gender of Lucky is wrong

The McWrap

"A curious title", i hear you think; and it is considering this particular McDonald's treat is long off the menu. You may think this will be a nostalgic post about how they should bring it because this new health kick McDonald's seems to have adopted is utter bullshit. Alas, i never indulged myself with a McWrap, but rather resorted to coming up with witty names for it such as the McCrap. I was about 10 and it was actually just a misunderstanding by my father but we all laughed and the joke stuck until the product became obsolete. And so the seguay between the title and the actual topic was made:

Though it is only a loose connection, we also had a joke around the same time that Rap was spelled with a silent C. Yeah, real funny, i know. But, being the personality-less child that i was i agreed that rap was actually shite... because that's what Dad said... and it had lots of nasty swears and children shouldn't hear that naughty speak.

Anyway, as i've developed a personalitly i have had various affairs with the rap genre. When i was about 13 i pretended to marry Eminem with another girl. But soon after i made a terrible mistake and began to like bands such as Greenday and perhaps.. Delata Goodrem... HOWEVER after my brief burst of insanity i came to realise that not all rap is spelt with a silent C. Some is, but if it has a phat beat then i can usually forgive it. Other than that smack some witty lines ontop with some slick drumlines and im there! The filthier the better!

I have now taken to trying to write my own raps. Ill keep you posted as to how that goes:)

The Magic of Running Water

After having a clogged drain for the past month i had forgotten the joys of the shower, or as one friends refers to it; the rain cube. Last night I experienced it. It was so enjoyable to not be ankle deep in lukewarm soapy water. Refreshed.

D is for Dwelling

(so here we go)

According to dictionary .com to dwell is to

1.	to live or stay as a permanent resident; reside.

2.	to live or continue in a given condition or state: to dwell in happiness.

3.	to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought, speech, or writing (often fol. by on or upon): to dwell on a particular point in an argument.

I chose this topic for my first actual post (consider the previous post a prologue) as this is what my life has consisted of since i graduated the time consuming, life destroying, stress inducing confidence demolishing institution that was high school. Now, I was overjoyed at my newfound freedom that was the couple of months after the gruelling pressure of the HSC and was looking forward to a good year with my friends/boyfriend before jetting off on a leisurely holiday before coming back to Aus for a sunny start to uni.

However this was not to be. Some of my more insane friends decided that they would get straight into uni and others decided that moving to other parts of the country/world would be fun, which it would be but it leaves this little country town a little lonely.

As such i have been tossed into a life of
1.to live or stay as a permanent resident; reside. This is the fun part as I live with some awesome people.
but
2. to live or continue in a given condition or state. is not so much fun. Basically my life is my job which, if you asked me to recall my day (which i highly recommend you dont) i could be describing ANY SINGLE DAY since i started at the deli. Its repetitiive and dull and when there is very little to do after it gets depressing.
3. to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought, speech, or writing (often fol. by on or upon): to dwell on a particular point in an argument.
Now, this is the worst part. Now that im able to basically opperate on auto pilot at work it causes me to DWELL on the fact that I have never been this lonely.

Having said all this i would like to point out that Luke and Michael are the best thing in this town at the moment and none of this was directed at them:)

And Gab, Mad and AnnMarieh have been super even though they're 100000 years away!

Behind the times

I am fully aware that the blog scene has quietened since i became a blog voyeur some months ago but i thought id try my hand at it.